Take Your Energy Back

About a week ago, I had the sudden realization that I’d been misinterpreting a very large slice of reality.

I’ve spent most of my life avoiding things that make me uncomfortable, procrastinating, dealing with fear, and self-sabotage. The usual!

These emotions, thoughts, and feelings always seemed to be omnipresent, unwanted invaders. Somehow making me unsafe within my own skin.

And then, in a flash - I saw that actually, no. The fear was also me. The doubt was also me. The procrastinating was also ME.

I saw that I wasn’t being invaded at all. I was being PROTECTED. Unnecessarily, perhaps. But protected nonetheless. The negative emotions served a purpose - they had an intention (a misguided one prompted by old conditioning, likely) that was for my theoretical benefit.

Due to my conditioning, my programming, my beliefs, and my preconceptions, my mind was dedicating MY energy to create these “negative” emotions, and I was then running from them. Running from the other pieces of myself.

And somehow, once I saw that it was actually MY energy, my tendency towards avoidance seemed to instantly vanish.

There’s nothing to run away from, and nowhere to run.

I can see now that I had been consistently breaking myself into competing fragments. The “good” side (which I identified with “me”) and the “bad” side (all the “negative” stuff) which I tried to avoid and “improve”.

The knowing provides a certain level of peace. I know that my fear, my doubt, my insecurity, it’s all just MY ENERGY. And that seems to completely change my relationship with fear.

When you see that all the parts of you that you’ve disowned, ran from and avoided are actually just your own energy and your own power in disguise - you can welcome them back without fear.

You can stop breaking yourself into fragments, and take your energy back.